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I Am A Fat Childless Woman. I Am The Embodiment Of So Many Women’s Worst Fears.
I am your worst nightmare.
You follow body positivity accounts on social media that give you permission to love yourself because, it’s ok, “you’re not fat, it’s just the way you’re sitting”. or “you’re not fat, that’s just your post-baby body”. Soothing your personal fear of fatness is not the same as body positivity.
You follow infertility accounts that tell you to exhaust every resource in the pursuit of parenthood. Drain your bank account, pump yourself full of hormones, destroy your mental-health, damage your relationship and abandon your sexual sovereignty-it will all be worth it, they say.
It’s clear you’re afraid of becoming like me. Not just fat, not just childless, but fat and childless. And it’s not that I don’t understand the fear. Losing the two biggest assets that give you social currency, your perceived sexual desirability through the lens of the male gaze and admittance into the mom-club are both high- ticket items.
You’ve absorbed the message that if you’re a fat, infertile woman with no children, you are invisible and irrelevant. And maybe that’s true. I am, after all, irrelevant to so many of these soul-sucking systems that are designed to keep women small and obedient to the roles of femininity. But damn, I am so…
